Who are you?
This question was put to me by one of my best friends.
What popped into your mind?
Did you immediately think of your job title? (I did)Did you identify yourself with a relationship term, like wife, daughter? Maybe you described your body, your personality, or your favorite hobby. I realized after talking with my friend identity labels like these are useful, even necessary. They shape the way we act and feel (and the way people act and feel toward us) in every situation, from taking the bus to taking a lover. But many labels are misleading, and none can fully describe the multifaceted reality that is a human being. Moreover, any external criteria we use to label ourselves -- looks, power, health, relationships, anything -- can disappear in a heartbeat. So really, the only way to avoid a lot of insecurity, fear, and suffering is to learn how to wear our identities lightly and let go of them easily. All great wisdom traditions point to the knowledge that the essence of our true selves is not any fixed label but the capacity to experience. Our belief in labels, not the labels themselves, is what gives them the power to influence our behavior. Knowing how to let go of any given identity without losing our essential selves yields a security we'll never get from fame, power, money, beauty, or any other personality prop.
What popped into your mind?
Did you immediately think of your job title? (I did)Did you identify yourself with a relationship term, like wife, daughter? Maybe you described your body, your personality, or your favorite hobby. I realized after talking with my friend identity labels like these are useful, even necessary. They shape the way we act and feel (and the way people act and feel toward us) in every situation, from taking the bus to taking a lover. But many labels are misleading, and none can fully describe the multifaceted reality that is a human being. Moreover, any external criteria we use to label ourselves -- looks, power, health, relationships, anything -- can disappear in a heartbeat. So really, the only way to avoid a lot of insecurity, fear, and suffering is to learn how to wear our identities lightly and let go of them easily. All great wisdom traditions point to the knowledge that the essence of our true selves is not any fixed label but the capacity to experience. Our belief in labels, not the labels themselves, is what gives them the power to influence our behavior. Knowing how to let go of any given identity without losing our essential selves yields a security we'll never get from fame, power, money, beauty, or any other personality prop.