Karate Brotherhood

Hanshi's Joe Anon, John Giordano, Wilfredo Rodan

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." Ecclesiastes

Everybody has friends. Or do they? What exactly is meant by friendship? One of the great appeals of philosophy to many a philosophy major is its universality. Philosophy can ask questions about everything— even seemingly obscure topics that would seem best reserved for self-help books and Oprah Winfrey. However, I would suggest that the subject of friendship is not as airy-fairy as it might sound. By asking a few key questions, it proves worthy and even wanting of reasoned reflection. After all, the more one investigates something the better one understands it and the better one can go about it. Thus, the better one understands friendship, the better one can be a friend. Not only should an investigation into the art of relating prove enriching for oneself but it should be of benefit to our own friends.
Let us first establish what is quite clear and certain about friendship. No one would dispute that our relations with fellow humans are of great personal significance. From the vast number of minute relationships we have with those around us, it is to the relationships that are of particular significance and richness that we endow the title of friendship. The value of these relationships cannot be understated. Over the ages, poets have glorifyingly compared friendship to precious jewels, gold, and silver. Friendship has been likened to mighty oaks and to finely aged wine. Even more superlatives have been sung about romantic love, which it would seem is a form of heightened friendship. From this and our own personal experiences, I think it is safe to assume that if one was isolated from all humanity, and friendship became impossibility, one’s prospects at happiness and purpose in life would be severely impaired. Indeed, there seems a strong connection between the richness of our relations with others and how well we live the ‘Good Life’ or achieve the philosophical virtue of ‘Happiness’. Granted this, questions of friendship become quite significant indeed— especially in discerning the way in which a friendship can be ‘rich’ or valuable and contribute to the Good Life.
Long ago, Aristotle dealt with the interrelation of the Good Life and Friendship in his famous Nicomachaen Ethics. It is helpful to begin our investigation of the nature of friendship with his framework. Aristotle divided friendships into three categories based on the three objects, or goals, that a friendship might have. The first form that he describes is a friendship of utility. Here the object of the relationship is the utility or the use-value obtainable from the friend. In other words, if someone keeps your company because of all the social contacts or the great financial resources you may have, their friendship is one of utility. Closely related is the second category, the friendship of pleasure. Here, one keeps another’s company because they are pleasantly witty or beautiful. Thus for Aristotle, a friendship of pleasure is when the pleasure obtained from the other’s characteristics becomes the object of the friendship.
Although perhaps superficial, these forms of friendship are not necessarily ‘bad’ things. Harm does not immediately follow from either— in fact the nature of the friendship is one of personal and often mutual benefit. However, in so far as the object of a friendship is purely pleasure or utility, it is a friendship in appearance only— a mere shadow of the real thing.
The third form, or ‘the real thing’, is what Aristotle called the complete friendship. Here the friendship is based on wanting the good for your friend first and foremost. Rather than relating for personal benefit one relates for the good of the other. This dynamic only becomes possible by liking the friend for their intrinsic qualities rather than their incidental qualities. To put it simply, the friendship is based on a general liking of the person for who they are and a recognition of their essential goodness. As Aristotle writes, "It is those who desire the good of their friends for the friends’ sake that are most truly friends, because each loves the other for what he is, and not for any incidental quality." Although personal benefit in the form of utility and pleasure will inevitably follow from such a friendship, they are no longer ends in themselves but incidental bonuses.
From this framework we possess several interesting insights into the dynamics of friendship. Although friendships of pleasure and utility are not necessarily bad, by their nature they are inevitably transient. As their object is based on the incidental qualities of the friend which are apt to change and disappear over time (beauty fades just as certain jokes become tiresome) so too will the friendship crumble when its object disappears. Many know the experience of losing a friend after the convenience of sharing the same city is lost. After the friend has moved away, and distance becomes an impediment to the pleasures or utilities that were once the highlight of the relationship, it crumbles like a castle of blocks with its foundation taken away. By contrast, complete friendships are enduring. Instead of being based on fleeting characteristics they are based upon intrinsic qualities, and recognition of the friend’s essential and unique goodness. The object of such a friendship is fundamental and unchanging. It has a secure foundation that allows for growth and change of incidental qualities. Change does not threaten the friendship but rather enriches it as each gains from the new and evolved character of the other.
What then can we draw from our investigation? Perhaps, the realization of just how precious some of our relationships are. Certainly, not all of our friendships can attain Aristotle’s ideal, but this is not necessarily bad. Aristotle himself concedes that to have many complete friendships is impossible as only so much time and effort can be spent in the requisite cultivation and maintenance. What is certainly a good thing are those friendships, which approach completeness. They are the enduring gold and the silver that the poets praise. They are the friendships that we would be wise not to overlook or displace for our more material ambitions; for they may just be the closest will we get to the eternal on this side of eternity.

Direction

Who’s Directing Your Life?


While aspects of you encourage, “Go for your dreams!,” simultaneously other parts threaten, “Don’t you dare.”

A cast of characters lives inside of you and at different times you may receive conflicting or contradictory messages. If you want to be happy, successful, and fulfilled, consider putting your “dreamer” in the director’s chair.

What are the voices inside of you saying? As you turn the volume up on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your doubter, you can practice discernment allowing for greater clarity.

To assist you in hearing these voices, let’s set up a simple scenario. Picture something you want, something that matters to you. Choose a personal or professional dream and consider how these various parts of you might respond.

Dreamer – The dreamer inside says, “What if…” and is open to a creative process without over-analyzing it. This is the part of you that imagines, believes in possibilities, has hope, and seeks kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their ideas with intention, clarity, and passion. Great dreamers get others excited about their vision. And most importantly, successful dreamers take action to make their dreams a reality.

Doubter – This voice is often heard saying such things as, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” The doubter provides concern touting, “But what if…” and imagines the worst. If you crank the volume up it can even become annihilating with accusations shouting things like, “Are you out of your mind?” William Shakespeare said, “Our doubts are traitors.” Carlos Castaneda said, “In order to experience the magic of life, you must banish the doubt.” My favorite quote on this subject is in The Prophet where Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Doubt is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother.”

Realist – “Be realistic…” Modulate the doubter down a notch or two and it becomes the essential voice of the realist. This part wants to know, “What’s the plan?” including where is the time and money coming from. However, in the early phase of dreaming, you may not know. The challenge is not to allow the realist to immediately turn into a doubter who might judge or obliterate your idea. Honor this voice by (to the best of your ability) giving it the information it needs. If you ignore or reject it, it will cleverly agitate or distract you. Being realistic offers prudence and makes you do your homework; but if you are overly realistic or go to strategy too soon, you will most likely compromise the dream and kill your passion.

Visionary – This voice says, “Anything is possible so let’s dream big!” These are the leaders and people we look up to and admire. They have learned the process of realizing their dreams and embody what it means to be a big dreamer. Setbacks or failures do not stop them. Simply put, a visionary has a vision and invites others to join them. They are found in all walks of life and we are often so inspired when they are in the presence of a true visionary that we sign up just to be near them or be a part of what they’re doing.

A visionary is not defined by the size of the dream since dreams are precious and come in all sizes, shapes and areas of life. If you were living your dream life, how would it be different? What do you see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What would you change? Who would you help if you were truly living as a visionary?

Avoid Sabotaging Your Dream
When these different voices merge they can become muddled and result in confusion and poor decisions. For example, you might poison your dream by projecting doubt into it. Then with each step you take toward what you want, you also move toward your doubt. Doubt and fear, which most of us may have at some time or another (especially when embarking on a new or big dream) do not belong in your dream.

These feelings are simply part of your reality. This is a subtle and essential point.

Here’s a simple technique for avoiding this sabotaging pattern. On a piece of paper draw a line across the middle. On the top half write out your dream with as much detail as possible. On the bottom write out your reality in relationship to your dream, where you are now. Reality usually includes good news and (so called) bad, as well as any fear or doubt you may have. Just state the facts and your feelings about them.

Now, which one are you more committed to; your dream or your reality? We tend to choose “reality” when we don’t have a clearly defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt. If your dream is loaded with your worst imagined nightmares, reality will always seem safer and saner. But doubt placed appropriately as part of your reality, allows two things to happen. First, no longer blown out of proportion, it’s an obstacle that basically requires a strategy to manage it. But more importantly, with doubt where it rightfully belongs, you are free to move forward.

It’s like a play. All the characters have wisdom and insight, but you can’t clearly understand them when they’re speaking at once. Take time to tune in, to listen, and on a regular basis, have the courage to give your dreamer its directorial debut or even the leading role.

The Congress

Front Row (left to right):
Bill Wendell , Ron Brie, Louis Jackson, G.M. F. Ruiz, Manny Saavedra (behind Ruiz), Hanshi Harry Rosenstein, W. Roldan (on one knee), Doctor Dennis Tartakow (on floor)
Second Row (standing):
Louis Fernandez, unknown, Daniel Lemus, unknown, Larry Mabson, Ray Irrizary, (behind Jackson), Ulysses "POP" Wynn,
S. Rosenstein, Ivan Lewis
Back Row:
Kevin Fookes, Doctor Andrew "The Butcher" Levy, Ref John Walcott
Ref shirts from Frank Ruiz's Martial Arts Congress. It was nice to see all these people together at the tournament. If you recognized the unknowns please let me know